In 2019, I have decided to not hide parts of myself for anyone. I will no longer compromise my truth to make anyone comfortable. I am aware of the amount of courage this intention will ask of me as I reject the box society tries to place on me. I know this won’t be easy, but this past year of my life has taught me it’s far more important to be myself than to make others comfortable. Life is short, and I do not wish to spend it trying to fit into someone else’s clothing. I have braced myself for the micro levels of rejection that can result, but I have also prepared for the massive amounts of self love I am going to flourish in because of this decision.
I will not put on my best face to impress a man I am romantically interested in. The man I will eventually call my partner will look at me as a whole person and be able to see me. They will understand my complex human layers, and our interests will intersect to create something magical.
I will not pretend to not believe things or participate in certain things because of individuals within my own belief community. I am on an ever-expanding journey with God, and I am only required to act out of a place of personal conviction. If I do not believe in specific traditions/practices, I will not participate in them. And I will not allow these differences to cause division among my personal faith community. I will just continue to courageously be myself.
I will not give energy to friends that I simply do not wish to give it to. This means I will not participate in every activity they wish to participate in, and I will not wallow in FOMO when I decide to “sit this one out.” I will not accept every invitation to hang out only because I am scared to lose that friend. If our friendship cannot withstand moments of solitude or “no I don’t wish to go” then those are not friendships I should pour into.
I will not hide behind myself and my opinions around my family. I will remember my voice matters even when no one agrees with my philosophies. I will remember I am still loved and appreciated even when it is not explicitly expressed.
I WILL NOT COMPROMISE MY ENERGY.
I WILL NOT HIDE PARTS OF MYSELF.
HEY WORLD, I AM JUAQUINA SHE, I AM HERE TO BE MY FULL SELF.